A CAUSE FOR HOPE

So I was thinking of ordering some electronics from Ali Express as they have some cool Android products, both my cards got canceled even though I can use them just fine anywhere else on the net so I emailed them to ask them what was going on.

They email me back asking for a scan of my passport, credit card and full bank statement....

Since when is China the new Nigeria?

While still grieving over the needless loss of lives of those on the Dana airplane and wondering why we Nigerians keep killing one another through our various deliberate and inadvertent actions and inactions, I came across the above quote posted by an American in my circle on Google+. As can be imagined, coming across it did nothing for my already somber mood.

I had in fact copied the quote to write someday about Nigerians’ notoriety in the world. As it turned out however, that write-up is no longer likely to see the light of day and you will see the reason why shortly.

I had gone about three Saturdays ago to buy fresh pepper and tomatoes from a place I usually buy them somewhere in Alagomeji. I made my purchases and headed from there to Sabo market where I bought some other things only for me to discover at the place that was supposed to be my last stop that I had somehow lost N1,000 and so would not be able to buy the last things on my list without first getting back home to get more money. I was both irritated by my carelessness in not taking my wallet and unhappy at the thought of having to make a second trip back to the market to complete my purchases but it was something that had to be done.

Sometime last week, I had to go again to Alagomeji to buy some more tomatoes and lo and behold, the two sales girls (both around age 17 to 20) immediately on seeing me excitedly told me that they had helped me to keep my N1,000 which fell from my hand when I was there two weeks before!

How happy I was on being re-united with my lost money can only be imagined. The reason for my happiness went way beyond just getting my money back. It was more because of the fact that those two girls could have kept the money (mind you, it was the exact note that fell from my hand) for me for the two weeks it took me to go back there without convincing themselves to spend it or at least for successfully battling whatever temptations they might have faced to spend it.

That thought, more than any other lifted my spirits and gave me hope that perhaps, it’s not all bad, perhaps, the tiny ray of light can after all defeat the big blanket of darkness in form of lost values that threaten to overtake our country particularly Lagos State. And so now, I can proudly lift my head and tell the American in my circle on Google+ that while it is true that we have people in Nigeria who have scams as their only occupation (as no doubt, there are in America as well), but we also have people who are upright and honest as well and perhaps he just has to walk in the right circles!

FAROUK LAWAN/OTEDOLA: QUESTIONS AND MORE QUESTIONS

When Femi Otedola reportedly broke the news that Farouk Lawan, the very same Farouk Lawan that a majority of the people almost deified in the wake of the release of the subsidy probe, demanded and collected bribe of $620,000 from him to keep Zenon’s name out of the report, I was one of the, I’m sure, many people who felt Farouk Lawan was only being framed. I believed after all the years he has spent at the House of Representatives without any (obvious) stain on his name, he must be one of the clean ones. I believed it when he said the image of him in the video being circulated was a caricature. I believed him. I so desperately wanted the story to be untrue, how can Farouk Lawan be the same as the rest of them?

Alas, the day after he denied receiving any money, he recanted, but said he wanted to use the money to expose Otedola and that he gave the money to one Jagaba Adams, the chairman of the House Committee on Drugs, Narcotics and Financial Crimes. He also said that he wrote a letter to police to report the bribe.

Otedola on his own part, I believe, very much in an attempt to whitewash his image claimed that there was no reason for Zenon to have been in the report since it was never a recipient of the oil subsidy as a diesel marketer, and that the dollar bills given to Farouk Lawan were marked and provided by the State Security operatives in a “sting” operation.

On the side of Farouk Lawan, things look really bad. It will be indeed very difficult to continue to believe that Mr “Integrity” Farouk Lawan himself still has any integrity left. First, Lawan was said to have made about three nocturnal visits to Otedola to collect the bribe money. Channels TV made Farouk look even worse when they replayed the session of the House in which Farouk sought to amend clauses 5 & 6 of the report to remove the names of Zenon and Synopsis. Things moved even from bad to the ridiculous when it was reported in the newspapers that a source who watched the video recordings of Lawan receiving the money said when his pockets were filled with the money, Lawan had opened his cap and stuffed the remaining wads therein!

Now, a number of questions beg to be answered in the whole sordid episode, from the limit of the information I have and my understanding of same, the questions are:

 If it was Otedola that offered the bribe to Farouk Lawan to not include Zenon’s name in the probe report, why was it that it was Lawan that went to Otedola’s house to collect the bribe money? And not once or even twice, but as reported, three whole times? There is a proverb that says that it is the man with thorn in his foot that limps to meet the man with pin for help. Since it was Otedola that was supposedly looking for a favour, why wasn’t he the one going to meet Lawan?

 If Lawan collected the money in order to expose Otedola as he claimed, why did he not officially report the matter of the bribe after the report was laid at, and adopted by the House of Representatives?

 Did Lawan, as he claimed, write a letter to the police to inform them of the offer of bribe? Why has the Ahmadu Ali he mentioned not been quizzed to find out what he knows about the matter?

 Did Lawan report the bribe to the members of the House or at least the Ethics committee as claimed? If he did, at what point did he report it to them? Was it after the bubble had burst or at the time the bribe was offered?

 How many members of the fuel subsidy probe committee which Lawan chaired were aware of the offer/acceptance of the bribe? What are the members of the committee saying about the bribe affair? Have they been thoroughly quizzed?

 If as Lawan claimed, he only collected the bribe with the intention of exposing Otedola, why did he move the motion to remove Zenon’s name from the report?

 What role, if any, did the Committee member that seconded Lawan’s motion play in the whole bribe affair? Did the other committee members have fore-knowledge of Lawan’s motion to apply through a motion to remove Zenon’s name from the report? If they did, on what basis did they agree that Zenon’s name be removed? Is it because they are privy to the bribe thing? Is it because Zenon really did not belong in the report as Otedola claimed? If Zenon’s name never should have been in the report, how did it get there?

 If Lawan did not intend to spend the bribe money, why did he keep quiet for so long to the point that it was Otedola that broke the news and not him?

 Knowing how close Otedola was to the former President Obasanjo and the incumbent Goodluck Jonathan, was Farouk really that greedy and idiotic as to solicit for a bribe from of all persons, Femi Otedola?

 If the money is not with Adams Jagaba, where is it?

 Was Zenon, a company into diesel which has been deregulated, really supposed to have been part of the report? If so, why?

 On Otedola’s part, was the operation really a sting operation as claimed? If it was, why did the State security operatives allow the money to get out of their sight to the point where no one seems to know its whereabouts now?

 If it was a sting operation as claimed, why was Farouk not arrested immediately after collecting the bribe money by the security operatives? This is especially important because as reported, the money was collected in tranches of two $250,000 and a $100,000.

 I don’t remember having heard any official or unofficial statement from the SSS yet, but if they were really involved from the start, why has there been only silence from them so far on the whole saga?

 If it is indeed a sting operation, having let the money out of its sight, how did the SSS intend to identify the actual dollar bills given to Lawan if he has spent it?

 Why did it have to be Otedola and not the SSS that broke the story if indeed there was a sting operation?

 Why the long delay and silence even after the report had been laid and adopted with Lawan ‘performing’ by removing the name of Zenon and a certain Synopsis with no action taken by the security operatives until Otedola broke the story?

 Why have the tape recordings of the bribe taking not been made public?

 If Otedola doesn’t own Synopsis as he claims, who does? And how much did the owner have to pay to have the company’s name removed from the report? And how many other companies paid to have their names omitted?

So far, in my opinion as limited by the information I have, it appears that Lawan’s greed got the better of him and he really wanted to spend the money. Although, after an appearance at the House on Thursday the 21st of June, Farouk Lawan attempted to maintain his innocence by saying his silence so far on the matter is strategic and that he will with be vindicated having maintained a record of probity and accountability as a member of the House in the past 13 years.

My opinion on his appearance at the House is one I will rather keep to myself for now. Or maybe not completely. I do know I wouldn’t have been able to show my face among my colleagues so soon after my fall from the pedestal of “integrity” to the disgusting pit of corruption. Especially when I have not been able to successfully clear my name. But then, maybe he finds it so comfortable because that is the way they all are in the house. And well, of course, this is Nigeria, a country where the bigger a criminal you are, the more “honour” and awards you are given. At least now, going by the caliber of most of the other “Honourables”, it appears he is now more than ever before qualified to be called “Honourable” Farouk Lawan!

As for Otedola, though I do not know the true story, I think the whole sting operation thing was an afterthought. There are just too many questions screaming for answers. I fear though, that the answers might never be fully known because we are in Nigeria where the most confounding, unbelievable things happen on a regular basis without any sanction whatsoever attaching.

My Funny Countrymen

"Being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation that has to keep a government for four years no matter what it does." - Will Rogers

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. Now I’m beginning to believe it.
—Clarence Darrow

I have always enjoyed reading witty sayings and what is called quotable quotes. In fact, I have three exercise books of them that I collected while in secondary school. I can't say that I have a good reason for stopping to collect them after I got admission to the university because it obviously wasn't a time consuming hobby. And I have always liked using an appropriate witty saying to spice up my writings.

I have neglected this blog for quite a while now, and I have been even too lazy to finish up my travelogue series (which had already been written in longhand!), but thanks to the quotes above, I was finally inspired to pen down these few lines.

The first thing that came to my mind when I saw the quote by Will Rogers is, obviously Mr Rogers did not know anything about a West African country called Nigeria where the people not only leave the government intact in a "democracy" for four years no matter what murder the members of the government commit (and believe me, they commit more than we ever give them credit for), we in fact in spite of the murders and obvious incompetence and gargantuan non-performance, even bring them back for a second four years!

Nigerians are a very funny lot (if my laziness will permit, I plan to write very soon on the manifest contradictions of the Nigerian situation) and I'm guessing that accounts for why we were once voted to be the happiest people on earth. We complain about the government and our situation but given the chance to do something about it to make things right, what do we do? We suddenly remember that the ruiner in power is from the same State or region or of the same religion when in fact that did not make anything better for us in the first four years.

I would amend Clarence Darrow's quote above to read,when I was young I was told anyone could become a president, now I believe it. You only have to look at the criminals and jokes that occupy office as presidents these days to agree with me amendment of that quote. Now, we have people who had no shoes getting to the presidency with a determination to see that his people's legs are cut off! We have people who aspire to the presidency with no clue as to what the job of a president entails and only because of the power that come with being a president.

I would say may God help us but I'm beginning to think that may be our main problem in Nigeria. And please, make no mistake, I have great reverence for the Almighty, I may not be very religious in the sense that a lot of our people are, but I strive daily to let the fear of God be my guide. I however nevertheless feel that our leaving everything to God without playing our part to make things right is one of the major reasons why we have not got things right.

Unique Talents of Nigeria's Rulers

I am sure that if not everybody, at least a great majority of people will agree that Nigeria is a very interesting country peopled with highly talented and brilliant individuals. It is of course to be expected that our rulers too will be brilliant, even if their brilliance is of a different sort from the normal brilliance that everyone knows.

Over the years, Nigerian rulers have affected the country and ensured its steady retrogression with their brilliance at diverting resources meant for the common good to their own use and non-use since a good number of them will die leaving their wealth for the swiss authorities to utilise to develop their economy. In that sense, one could very well say that, quite a number of them die leaving their wealth to charity, charity being the Swiss banks and Swiss government/economy.

We all have sort of accepted that our rulers' brilliance is their very own special talent developed while in government. This talent has resulted in the direct and direct deaths of millions of Nigerians over the years. However, there is a talent of our rulers' that has been showing itself for some years now; or at least since shortly after 1999 when the country returned to civil rule. That talent is the talent of seeing a small prick which could have been easily taken care of, but ignoring it until it festers and not only becomes life-threatening, but actually becomes fatal.

It is this talent that ignored the birth of the militant until they became so destructive that the only option left to the government (especially in the light of our thoroughly incompetent security forces)was to negotiate with the criminal elements called the militants.

It is this very unique talent that saw the birth of the boko haram and made them ignore this deadly group while they could have been easily contained until they grew to become the terrorist group they are now.

I have heard and read comments in the electronic and print media about the supposed "carrot and stick" method being employed (or is it about to be employed) by the government in the boko haram matter. Well, perhaps the government has some sickly carrots which they intend to dangle before the members of this sect, but one thing I am sure of is that the government has absolutely no stick to wield should the boko haram people refuse to accept the not very enticing carrots being dangled before them.

While the government and its incompetent security forces have been left without the ability to even fumble and wumble (apologies to Amu), the boko haram people are sure of what they want to do even if the rest of us do not know why they are doing it, and they are leaving a lot of deaths and destruction in their trail.

I love brilliant and talented people, but I intend to go on my knees everyday till further notice, to pray to the Almighty to cure our rulers of these talents that only breed monsters...

BEHOLD, MY HAPPY PEOPLE!

I remember a time in the not too distant past but which now seems like aeons ago, when I used to follow religiously, the Mexican soap operas at the time they re-invaded our country. That was the time I also almost never missed any episode of Super Story and so many other Nigerian soap operas. The remarkable thing about that time for me was not just that I followed all those soap operas really religiously, it was that I was able to watch them almost without a miss of any episode in the absence of an electricity generator; something that is today a total impossibility. Now, I have virtually lost complete interest in watching TV because my ear drums got tired of the noise of the generators all around winning every single competition with the volume of the TV, the only program I make an exception for is however Who Wants To Be A Millionaire which I usually do not like to miss.

I remember thinking sometimes in 2010 when a friend and colleague told me that they didn’t have a generator in their office, that her boss must be so out of touch with reality that he’s got to be downright mad! That’s how bad things have become with the power situation in my dear country.

I remember in 2004 when I had to travel to Edo State for a friend’s wedding that though the Benin-Ore road was not that good, I, along with my co-travellers did not at least have to sleep on the road as is the situation today due to the criminal and horrible state of the road which not only boosts the business of armed robbers but which through accidents has sent more people than I think it’s healthy for me to think about to their untimely death.

I remember a time also in the not too distant past when it was a “status symbol” thing for parents to send their children to private schools. Now, especially with our servant-rulers being the proprietors of most of the very expensive and very private schools, any parent that wants any meaningful kind of education for his/her child has to look for money that he/she probably doesn’t have, to give the child a fighting chance among his/her peers. The saddest thing of all? No, it’s not that parents have to work all hours and abandon their children to their devices in order to give them a decent standard of life, though that is unbearable enough, the saddest thing is that in spite of the huge school fees being coughed out by parents, the outcome still leave a lot to be desired. The results of externally-conducted examinations have not shown any marked demarcation between those students in private schools and those in the public schools deliberately killed by our governments.

I see all around me the near-total absence of infrastructures and I have to buy a litre of kerosene that is supposed to be used mainly by the poor masses at N130.

Yet, I see the people who are supposed to be our servants moving in convoys of 10/15 cars, pushing us the people who are supposed to be the custodian of the nation’s power off the road, and beating and incarcerating those bold or foolish enough to hesitate to race into the bush so our servants can pass on the road without having to see for too long the total collapse and virtual absence of infrastructures or endure the bad traffic that our bad roads make us suffer.

I see that these “servants” of ours travel out of the country at every opportunity, enjoy the good roads, well-equipped hospitals, beautiful sceneries and great infrastructures that those countries have to offer and return to this country without the slightest wish to replicate all those things they enjoy so much abroad here.

I get alarmed when I remember that kidnappings which started as an “expatriate thing” in the Niger-Delta (Nigerians were safe, so no need to worry) has not only extended to rich Nigerians, it has also been extended to the families and friends of those of us who are still trying to find our feet in the society.

I get even more alarmed when I think of the poor children being born today who might never know what it is to have a normal and quiet environment. For people who live in flats and their own apartments, it is bad enough, for those who live in the “face me I face you” apartments in which every room in the 13 or 15-room apartment has its own “I better pass my neighbour”, it is absolutely unbearable!

I get alarmed and really sad when I remember and think of all those reports in the papers about families who die overnight due to poisoning from the inhalation of generator fumes.

Yet, it appears that I am one of the very few people in my dear 150- million strong country bothered by all these things I have mentioned above, and so much more that my desire not to bore you will not allow me to mention here. It is apparent that my people are really happy with the way this potentially (how I wish I can stop using that word in relation to my country!) great country is.

No doubt, this country has never been more prosperous than now in terms of its oil earnings, yet, its people have never been more impoverished in terms of the value (or lack of it) being added to (or taken from) their lives by people who control this oil wealth.

I have no doubt that it is not normal for the people who are supposed to be serving us to prefer setting a record for having contracted out the biggest cake in the world for our country’s 50th Anniversary when people die daily on the accidents we call roads, nor can it be right for these people to keep awarding themselves obscenely high allowances and estacodes when the work force earn the lowest salary in the commonwealth.

I have no doubt that it is not normal that a lot of our youths who were gainfully self-employed have found themselves becoming okada riders because they cannot afford the suicidal cost of running their business on electricity generators.

What saddens and alarms me most is that my people have become so used to the abnormal situations in this country that they have actually settled down to start enjoying it, they have in fact, become quite happy with seeing innocent children being deafened by the noise of generators, they have become very happy with seeing criminals who plunder the treasury of this country not only getting away with murders (literally) but also with those criminals being celebrated and declared as the heroes of their face for the new youths. They are very happy at having to shout in their rooms to make themselves heard over the noise of the generators, they are deliriously happy that Nigeria wins the top position easily in the most negative of things like having the highest figure for maternal mortality and stillbirths. They are really happy at having to invest huge amount of money on inverters and so many other similar inferior quality china products.

My people are in short so happy that they have no desire whatsoever for any change. And why should they desire any change? They are, after all, very happy! So much so that they have international recognition and acknowledgment of their happiness to back it up! Please, by no means change a happy people!

I however will love if you, who are reading this, can humour me and allow me to say this; as we all go out to vote on Saturday the 16th of April 2011, let us vote with the realisation that whoever we each vote for, whoever wins this election (by truly fair means), we would have, by our votes, sent a message; either for a desire for more neglect of our social infrastructures and continued creation of a monster which will then have the belief that it can continue to ride rough-shod over us, or for a message to show that we have the power in our thumbs to send any group or person who is either incompetent or unwilling to better our lives packing and are willing and ready to send each new successive group of people packing until we are able to get the message across that politicians should no longer take us for granted and until we get people who are ready to turn the potentialities of this country into actualities.

The choice is ours to make, I only hope before making our choice, we’ll pause to ask ourselves the right questions and supply honest and very sincere answers. But if we want to continue being happy with the most abnormal and depressing of conditions, with having more people die needless deaths every day in our empty hospitals, with people who tell us to tighten our belts while they grow fat in the mid regions, with empty words and quickly forgotten tears on the Benin-Ore road, well, what else can I say but, good luck!

Not So Gloomy!

Anybody familiar with the attitude of workers in any government-owned establishment towards their work and people who conduct one form of transaction or the other with them will readily agree that the attitude of the workers are usually one of people not obliged to do the work for which they are paid. Not only will they not do their work unless you soak their palms "with grease" they also are usually very rude to boot. My pleasant surprise can only then be better imagined on tuesday the 22nd June when things appeared quite different at the Ikoyi branch of the Nigerian Immigration Service (Passport) office when I went to take my picture for the new e-passport.

By the time I got there shortly after 8 a.m., the officials had started calling names of those of us who had appointment to take pictures for that day and everything was done in such an orderly manner that I had to remind myself that this is actually Nigeria! To add to the pleasantness of my experience, I was supposed to be in court that morning and time was already galloping very fast against me moreso because the particular court I was supposed to be in sits very promptly at 9 a.m.! I was thus forced to approach one of the officials to explain the dilemma I was in and see if something could be done to speed up the process for me or if I could reschedule my picture-taking for the following day.

The official I went to meet was really quite friendly and he directed me to a superior officer who also to my pleasant surprise was really quite friendly and because of his help, I was able to finsh with all the processing at shortly after 9 a.m. Perhaps what impressed me more was the fact that all the officials I came into contact with on that day were friendly and polite. They did their work well and organised the whole place in such a way as to foster orderliness.

With my experience at the Ikoyi passport office, I couldn't help but nurse the hope that things might get better yet in ths country, you can call me naive or whatever else you choose to, but I think it is a hope worth nursing!