Not So Gloomy!

Anybody familiar with the attitude of workers in any government-owned establishment towards their work and people who conduct one form of transaction or the other with them will readily agree that the attitude of the workers are usually one of people not obliged to do the work for which they are paid. Not only will they not do their work unless you soak their palms "with grease" they also are usually very rude to boot. My pleasant surprise can only then be better imagined on tuesday the 22nd June when things appeared quite different at the Ikoyi branch of the Nigerian Immigration Service (Passport) office when I went to take my picture for the new e-passport.

By the time I got there shortly after 8 a.m., the officials had started calling names of those of us who had appointment to take pictures for that day and everything was done in such an orderly manner that I had to remind myself that this is actually Nigeria! To add to the pleasantness of my experience, I was supposed to be in court that morning and time was already galloping very fast against me moreso because the particular court I was supposed to be in sits very promptly at 9 a.m.! I was thus forced to approach one of the officials to explain the dilemma I was in and see if something could be done to speed up the process for me or if I could reschedule my picture-taking for the following day.

The official I went to meet was really quite friendly and he directed me to a superior officer who also to my pleasant surprise was really quite friendly and because of his help, I was able to finsh with all the processing at shortly after 9 a.m. Perhaps what impressed me more was the fact that all the officials I came into contact with on that day were friendly and polite. They did their work well and organised the whole place in such a way as to foster orderliness.

With my experience at the Ikoyi passport office, I couldn't help but nurse the hope that things might get better yet in ths country, you can call me naive or whatever else you choose to, but I think it is a hope worth nursing!

SUPER EAGLES HERO

My brother told me a joke he heard yesterday about the performance of Nigeria's Super Eagles at the ongoing world cup in South Africa and it went like this in an exchange between a young student and his teacher:

TEACHER: Who is your hero? is it your father?
PUPIL: No, my father is not my hero because he beats me.
TEACHER: Is your hero your mother then?
PUPIL: No, my mother is not my hero because she also beats me
TEACHER: who then is your hero?
PUPIL: My heroes are the Super Eagles of Nigeria because they can't beat anybody.

I think that was really funny! While it may not altogether be true that the Super Eagles cannot beat anybody, it sure was true of their World cup performance because they couldn't beat anybody!

I did it again!

I have two immediate problems as it concerns my blogging folks, I don't know if anybody can come to my rescue, I seem to be suffering from two diseases; intellelazigintis and longstorigintis!

While the first disease is one I've been aware of for some time, I'm almost shocked at the second disease! Ok, ok I know I need to break down what each of those diseases really are. Intellelazigintis, as you good and intelligent folks might have guessed by now, is a condition of being intellectually lazy and not doing enough to challenge one's intellect. It's partly the reason why I had to start this blog. No doubt, having a blog has helped me, indeed, forced me to sometimes challenge my intellect and put something on paper (or is it computer?), but my good people, I'm very much aware that this intellectual laziness of mine persists even as I force myself to type out these words and report myself to yáll. .

Now while the first disease is one which I'd been aware of and had to start this blog to see if I could thereby cure, the second disease is one which this blog has exposed to me and you can bet I'm not finding it funny at all! Longstorigintis my good people is a condition which makes it almost imossible for a person to be able to write a brief story or aticle. I would never in a million years have thought myself capable of contracting this disease if not this blog and the notes I was writing on FB.

I had always prided myself on being a master at brevity in writing. One year in my first university, six years in UI and another year at the Law school during which periods I never once exhausted my answer booklet convinced me that I could not write a long story if my life depended on it. Boy!, how wrong can a person be! Since writing on my blog and the notes ob FB, i'm yet to succeed at writing a short article. I have tried and I have been failing! I will however refuse to give up, because only if I do will I have truly failed. I shall succeed yet! You just watch folks.

OMG! I just did it again!

My Best Friend: 16 years today

16th day of June 1994 was supposed to have been a reasonably happy day for me- it was my matriculation day at the first university I attended before I eventually found my way to the premier university in Nigeria. Indeed, the day started fairly happily enough, I had no inkling at all that the day would end with me almost drowning in a river of my own tears.

My mum came for my matriculation with the news that I had to follow her and my aunt that came with her back to Lagos as my dad's illness had taken a turn for the worse. Even at that time, it did not occur to me that my dad would have given up before we got to Lagos or that it was time yet for him to die.

I had always prided myself as being one tough gal, at those times with little to do and with the mind free to roam about, I had always asked my self what my reaction would be if one of my parents were to die and I had always assured myself each time that tears would not be part of the whatever feeling might overcome me.

As it happened, I couldnt have been more wrong! I was incnosolable, I tried but failed woefully to stop the tears from flowing (torrentially too!). And for the following two months or so, I could not tell anybody about my father's death without opening another flood gate of tears that stubbornly refused to stop!

Today the 16th June 2010 marks the 16th anniversary of one man I loved dearly, a man who truly left crystal clear imprint in the lives of his children and those he came across. He had his faults like all normal humans sure, but 16 yrs on, I remind myself now more than ever when it's so easy to fall by the wayside and join the bandwagon of a society fast losing its values, that I have to remember that I am my father's daughter and should not be (whether caught or not) doing things just because it's the vogue or it's what people do, knowing very well that a purported short cut usually end up lengthening the journey even more.

I sorely miss you daddy! I pray that God almighty grants you eternal rest and forgive all your sins. sleep well daddy, I promise I will try my best to not do things that will bring disappointment to you.

Grumblings

Looking through my friends'pictures on Facebook and seeing all the fun most of them seem to be having, I couldn't help but think: Oh, Nike u've surely had the most boring of life! Boring, BORING, BOOORRRRIIIINNNGGG!!!!!
I felt that almost without a doubt, I've led the most uneventful and boring life a young human can live!

Some days and self-examination later (during which time I vowed to go to the cinemas daily,try some mountain climbing, hunting, take a break from work and go to a far and exotic place, do whatever else translate into eventful and interesting living), I asked myself, what really does it mean to have an eventful life?

Sure, an eventful life could mean doing all those things I vowed to do but may not really get around to doing, but looked at from another angle,I had to (psyche) myself, so I've not had an eventful life,I've enjoyed reasonably good health, things have been stable in my life except for the accident I had on the 2nd day of 2009; I guess I should go ask some people who have led really eventful lives how well they've been enjoying their lives... People like terrorist for instance!

While I believe I should seriously liven up my life, I think it will do well to perhaps remind myself of God's favours and mercies and learn to give thanks for the gift of life and good health. The Chinese after all have a curse: MAY YOU LIVE IN INTERESTING TIMES!

THE PRESIDENT BREATHED HIS LAST

I was drifting between sleep and wakefulness on the 5th day of the fifth month in year 2010 at about 27 minutes after eleven at night when one of my brothers called out: YAR'ADUA IS DEAD! Check STV! I immediately practically flew to the sitting room, wrestled with the TV remote control for a few seconds and finally got the TV on. And sure enough, there he was, staring wordlessly at me from the screen of the TV while I read what STV had to say, which was precious few: PRESIDENT UMAR YAR'ADUA IS DEAD.

I quickly scanned the other TV stations; nothing! The president was dead and even channels TV was showing a movie! Next, I went on the net, I had to get further confirmation (I knew anyway, that for STV to carry it, it had to be the real deal. I do not know STV for any extra ordinary act of boldness). Which website to check? oh yes! 234next.com! They seem to have this reckless boldness which I secretly find appealing. It was anyway thanks to them that the whole news of just how sick the president was, began to unravel, and they seemed to have been right when they insisted on standing by their story about the president being brain damaged even after the controversial BBC broadcast.
Sure enough, the news was already on Next's website, but it was without an accompanying story. Saharereporters had also by then carried the news.

Also, the other TV stations had caught on by that time and were flashing the breaking news. Having got sufficient confirmation, my sometimes fertile imagination went on immediate overdrive. Did he truly just died? had he been dead a week or a month before? No! I immediately chided myself. That would simply not have been possible! Or could it be?

I wondered what was going through Turai's mind; was she truly mourning her husband and companion of about 35 years or was she just mourning the now certain loss of her position as Nigeria's first lady?

What was Jonathan thinking? the now certain thrust of full presidential responsibility on his shoulders? or eureka!

What about Patience Goodluck? She'll at least now be certain of what her title should be unlike when her husband was acting president and she was neither first lady nor second lady!.

My mind was running in a thousand different directions and I had trouble catching up with it. I had the urge to call a thousand people to ask if they'd heard the news but lack of credit on my phone and the ungodly hour put paid to that.

I wondered what was happening with the political vultures. Or should I rather call them hawks? The vulture is after all reputed to be a patient bird which preys on the already dead. The Hawk on the other hand, preys on living and defenceless creatures. On that note, the hawks won. What schemes will the hawks be up to in order to become vice president? what will they consider taboo and what will they do?

Finally, I felt sad at the way the whole situation was handled by the president's family. I felt sorry for Yar'Adua for allowing Obasanjo to convince him to become president despite his poor health. I felt sorry for Yar'Adua for the way politics was played with his health, with his life and with the country. At the end, I couldnt help but feel sorry for Turai, she fought long and hard. But in the end, death won and the president drew his last breath!

LASTMA: At their worst

However hard I try, I just cannot cease to be amazed at man's capacity to be cruel to fellow man. 'Man' is of course here used in the generic sense. I was at Sabo yesterday to check some things at the Corporate Affairs Commission, and I Saw LATSMA's (Lagos State Traffic Management Authority) towing truck in the process of towing a 2008 Toyota Corolla vehicle. The reason for the towing? the unfortunate driver had packed the car though in a place that had been designated as a parking zone, but had in the process exceeded the line in which the car was allowed to park!

I quickly thanked God for not having made the same blunder a mere few seconds before. While I agree that LASTMA had done some pretty good work over the time, increasingly, I keep wondering if the Lagos State government has not decided to leave them to just make money that go into their private pockets and not into government coffers.

The hefty fine that the government imposed on traffic offence has in my view done more to enrich individual LASTMA official than to deter die-hard traffic offenders or even serve as part of the revenue-generating ventures of the government. Because of the huge fine, LASTMA officials attempt to arrest vehicles at the slightest infraction even when the vehicle owners should have just been let off with no more than a warning. The attitude of LASTMA officials has sent me wondering what exactly again was the reason why the authority was established; is it for ensuring smooth flow of traffic, or for the purpose of revenue generation?

If the reason is the former, then it seems to me that LASTMA officials have either forgotten that, or most of them are not even aware of the reason in the first place.
If the reason is however the latter, then I have to ask again, revenue generation for who? LASTMA officials, or the Lagos state government? Most of the things I have witnessed in recent times point to the latter.

Back to the towing I witnessed yesterday, I couldn't help but think as I watched the car being towed that since about half of the car was well within the space reserved for parking, then only the latter half which was out of the line marked should have been towed! My authority is based on the judgment of the "Daniel" that came to judgment in Shakespeare's Merchant of Venice where Shylock was ordered to take his pounds of flesh without shedding any blood. The Yorubas will also say "IKA TI O BA SE NI OBA N GE" meaning it is the finger that offends that the king cuts off or amputates as the case may be.